Born in New Malden, Alison, 60, never used a satnav until her new job as an Ocado driver. She now knows her way around London without any reference to map or robot and does at least 120 squats during her working day. This woman will live to be 100 says the Magpie
When were you happiest?
Now. I’ve hit 60 & become aware that my work doesn’t define me. My ambition to be important or high status has gone & I’m very happy doing what I’m doing.
What is your greatest fear?
Losing my home.
What is your earliest memory?
My little sister being born at home when I was 4; we were taken into mum’s room in the middle of the night.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Self doubt.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Greed.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My fat tummy.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
An actress.
Is it better to give or receive?
To give, as long as it’s not up 4 flights of stairs in Chelsea.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Sex with 3 people.
What was the best kiss of your life?
The first one with Alan was pretty good.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
A chambermaid in Novotel in rural France. It was so awful I ran away to Paris in the middle of the night.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Not being as famous as Helen Mirren.
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
My long haired perm in the 1980s. I looked like a standard poodle.
What is the closest you’ve come to death?
Sking down a bloody red slope in Switzerland; the instructor was pulling my ski pole to make me move as I was frozen with fear.
What song would you like played at your funeral?
Start me Up by the Rolling Stones.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My best friend Ena who is a mathematical genius to the extent that when we go to the lockers at the spa, she exclaims her locker code is a magic prime number.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
At drama school forgetting the sheet music for ‘Danny Boy’ and having to sing unaccompanied in front of an invited audience. Excrutiating.
What is your phone wallpaper?
Olly & Dylan in France.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Helen Mirren
What does love feel like?
Smooth & solid.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Horrendous
How do you relax?
On my fantastic sofa which is the size of a small boat.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Bringing up a brilliant son & doing a heli tack.
How would you like to be remembered?
In a parade.
Property aside, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
A still life oil painting of apples from art gallery in Tallin.
What is your most treasured possession?
My silver cuff. I bought it for my oldest sister Julie & she never wore it.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
A white tiger. Are they extinct yet?
What is your most unappealing habit?
Being late, accordingly to the magpie
What do you owe your parents?
A chaotic and vibrant family
What has been your closest brush with the law?
Failing a breathalizer on the road and passing it at the station.
Tell us a joke
What’s the difference between brussel sprouts and bogey?
You can’t get kids to eat brussel sprouts.
Tell us a secret
There are no secrets.
Magpie Moments 